People are hurting these days. Overstressed, fatigued, anxious, and/or depressed, they suffer from headaches, chest pain, stomachaches, insomnia, and muscle pain all over their bodies. Physical symptoms manifest mental anguish. Emotional distress triggers...
Managing Impossible People
At a funeral recently the minister gave a provocative eulogy where he described three types of people: 1 )those who” live to live” and focus solely on the immediate pleasures of life; 2)those who” live to die” who live for the sweet by and by and epitomize the saying, “so heavenly minded, they are of no earthly good”; 3)and those who “live to live” those who live life to the fullest on earth with an internal gleam in their hearts toward eternal life. I strive to be in the latter group. What about you? As counselor and life coach, I do know that there is another group of people. These are individuals who are mired in the minutia of life. The dictionary defines minutia as a minor detail. Its Latin root mentions triviality. In my mind’s eye, I see someone with boots on, knee-deep in a pool of muck. Every time he or she picks up a foot they go nowhere but to the same mucky spot. One or more of these characteristics may be present in an individual who is fixated on negativity…aimless, angry, unfulfilled, disappointed, controlling, uninviting, self-centered, narcissistic, and unhealthy.
So why are some individuals prone to this personality? The reasons are numerous. But let’s look at one cause–low self-esteem on the part of the individual. When a person does not know who they are they either withdraw or they seek to control others. (It occurs to me that they may do both and enact revenge on others when they have no sense of their own worth. ) Have you ever ran across someone who rants and raves on every encounter about there being no good men left or how no woman, or no one from a particular race can be trusted? Perhaps it’s a friend or family member who is always negative about everything –the weather, the dog, the sales woman, the mailman, other people in the family, the cost of tea, the government–ad nauseam. They love the words and tone of their own voice. In their interactions with others they always want to be one-up. They will de-friend you if you have a mind of your own and dare to disagree with them. They will invent things to turn others against you or dismiss you as being dishonorable or disloyal—a traitor to the team. They cling to others who are like them and take on their persona.
Is there hope for this type of individual? There is always hope! We can hope for a miracle. However, this is one of the most difficult personalities to change. They get their sense of identity from their dysfunctional thinking and have convinced themselves that they have a monopoly on truth. This individual will figuratively fight you, if you try to rescue them. The only way for this individual to be freed is for them to ask for assistance to be pulled from the quagmire. If there is someone whom they admire, this person may be the best person to throw a life-line. This person can be transformed if they recognize themselves and focus on the renewing of their mind (Romans 12:1-2).
So what is the best thing to do when coming in to contact with this type of individual? SAVE YOURSELF! There are six strategies that I recommend:
1. Stay true to yourself. It is important to know who you are and to be confident with your own values and opinions.
2. Do not humor the person by joining in with their ranting and negativity.
3. Do not make excuses for the individual.
4. Speak the truth as you see it, quietly, unapologetically, and non-argumentatively.
5. Limit your exposure to the individual as this type of person can be exhausting.
6. Pray for that miracle!
When you release yourself from negativity, you begin to live at the next level and release your personal power.
To find other strategies to release your potential and lead a satisfying and fulfilled life, visit www.oasischistiancounseling.net/resources. Invest in the workbook Claiming Your Divine Calling.
This article is brought to you by Elizabeth G. Bridges, dedicated to helping you travel light in your life’s journey. www.oasischristiancounseling.net.